some say the world will end in fire,
some say ice.
from what i've tasted of desire
i hold with those who favour fire.
but if i had to perish twice
i know enough of hate
to say that for destruction, ice
is also great
and would suffice.
- robert frost.
►Happiness is not the destination but the journey
These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which, as they kiss, consume.
- William Shakespeare.
Come, my darling, take my hand,
Journey down this path with me;
Let’s return to yesterday’s land.
Come feel the grainy summer sand,
The relieving shade of this oak tree.
Come, my darling, take my hand.
Hidden from the world we stand
Gazing over an opal sea;
Let’s return to yesterday’s land.
Whispered words, soft demands,
Fingers entwined with no space between.
Come, my darling, take my hand.
To a silent tune, the light in your eyes dance,
‘I can hear your heartbeat,’ you say to me.
Let’s return to yesterday’s land.
Rain or shine, by your side I’ll stand,
Though this may not appear to be.
Come, my darling, take my hand,
Let’s return to yesterday’s land.
- anonymous.
▼yes. believe it or not my i do love my parents :)
Wednesday, June 30, 2010 || 4:38 PM
30day letter challenge day 3 - Your Parents
umm alrite well..i love my parents heaps coz theyre actually pretty cool :) my mums not THAT much of a spaz azn mum...like she doesnt go TOO spaz wen i fail.. :/ sort of.. well i think shes jst given up on spazzing at me :D haha. umm i love how she gives me freedomm and and shes really sweet ^^ like once wen i was in yr4 or something and we had an argument..cant remmeebr bout wat though..and i was crying and all upset and stuff and then the nxt day she felt bad and bought me this stuffed toy with a red heart on it :) and and not so long ago wen i was going through shit at skl..she sent me a really sweet text [YES MY MUM CAN TEXT :O] hlfway through english..and and i almost cried coz it was so sweet ^^..wait i think i kind of did cry. [shuttup..it was an emotional time ok? -__-] and my bitch of an english teacher was staring at me all through class >:C bitch you teacher. well wat sucks is that i used to be able to tell my mum like almost everything ..but now i cant really talk to her about anything coz i feel like she disapproves of me :( or or..shes judging me or some shit. YOU KNOW SHE THINKS THAT WHILE SHES IN CHINA THESE HOLS IMA GO GET DRUNK OFF MY ARSE AT SOME PARTY AND HAVE SEX OR SOME SHIT. >:C where is the trust??
and now my dad. my dad is just awesome :) i can talk to him about some stuff... and and hes really funny coz hes so noob at everything ahhaa ^^ i love my dad. hes really understanding and he like listens to me and hes more openminded and not as judgemental as my mum. oh AANNDDD he encourages my social life ^^ rather than telling me to go study 24/7 -____- nahh my dads really nice and funny and understanding and he kills spiders for me...and gets fake snakes out of my bed wen my 4YROLD SISTER decides to try and prank me. like wat kind of 4yrold noes how to prank??
haha so basically. i love my parents :) coz theyre pretty cool... most of the time ;]
▼i love you so much it hurts.
|| 12:45 AM
OMMG. ok im reblogging letter 2 - Your Crush
gahh alrite. umm i lied i have a crush. ok soo his name is nick annd...hes in yr 10 and he was at the glen waverly concert thing last thursday. lool umm he's 'grey jumper guy' :)
omgsh. dixon u better be happy with this reblog >:C ..ok. -deeep breath..-
ok truth is.. I LOVE YOU NICK. FROM THE MOMENT I SAW err...YOUR PERFECTLY STRAIGHT HAIR ;] hehehe I WAS LIKE...WOW... 8] AND AND.. ummm YOUR EYES ARE LIKE 2 DARK POOLS OF...CHOCOLATE and..umm THEYRE SO DEEP THAT..THAT I FEEL LIKE I COULD FALL INTO THEM. :) [lol ok..i think i suck at this ...but...]
umm ..AND OUR CONVOS TIL LIKE 2AM ARE THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY. I LIVE FOR THOSE MOMENTS TLKING TO YOU FOR HOURS. AND THEY MAKE ME SLEEP HAPPILY AND WEN I SLEEP ..I DREAM OF YOUU AND HOW HOT AND SEXY YOU ARE. YOURE EVEN HOTTER THAN THE STRAW HATS I SEE HERE...AND THATS SAYING SOMETHING 8] I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I LOVE JUSTIN BIEBER. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I LOVE MY BLOG. ♥ oh and EVEN THOUGH WE'LL PROBS NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN. ALL I HAV TO DO IS LOOK UP AT THE SKY AT NIGHT AND I KNOW WE'RE BOTH UNDER THE SAME STARRY SKY AND I FEEL ALL..WARM AND HAPPY AGAIN :)
alrite well. i think ive done a pretty good job with my corny rant hehe. ok soo...goodnight everyone. oh and to my friends who are probs like.. O__O WTTFF-ing rite now. LOVE HAS MADE ME INSANE. its like..oh oh LOVE IS MY DRUG ♥
i just can't get you off my mind because...
your love, your love, your love is my drug
one last thing. I LOVE YOUU NICK ♥
▼when im bored i sleep. LOL JK i stalk my cat ;]
Tuesday, June 29, 2010 || 5:32 PM
ommgsshh i was bored shitless today. like you have no idea how bored..hahhah well so then i decided to stalk my cat :) hehhe i was following it around for like hlf hr coz it was all hyper and attacking random shizz and it was funny to watch. hehehe
lol ok so i followed it into the bathroom and and LOOLS my cat was getting boring so so i put toilet paper in the toilet and and i made it pull it out. ommgg HILARIOUS :L i was like cracking up for ages...except i was kinda spaz and on a high at the time coz its not that funny lol :) hehheheh well nwais i decided that the moment shuld be videoed so i locked it in the bathroom and got my phone and and hehe HERES THE VIDEO:
HAHAHHAHA you all wish you were cool like me :) only cool ppl stlk and film their cats doing random shizz. ^^
yeps well nwais wen my cat got sleepy and fell asleep and i got bored again so i went on www.weheartit.com and started looking at pics :) AND AND THIS ONE OMMFFGG MADE ME LAUGHHH HAHAHHAHHAHHAHA [yeea i was still kinda high^^]
ohh yesh jb. id fuck you too ;]
omg...im really tired rite now..im like falling asleep at my comp. maybe i shuld sleep earlier tonight...mm never gona happen :)
▼to my non-existent crush: i love you.
|| 12:49 PM
you make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed, dizzy in my head...
you make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe, buzz like a bee..
oh you make me smile
30 day letter challenge day 2 - Your Crush
LOLOLOL. awkward topic to discuss on my public blog :) lool well i dno..i dnt really have one i think. i dno..wat would count as a crush? picking the hottest guy in the class and obsessing over how hot he looks? LOL coz if it is ive had PLENTY of them.. and often had several at the same time HAHA. ;] or is that jst ...eyecandy? lols.
well..i dno that many guys coz ive always been to an allgirls skl. but yea..most of the guys i noe are..-cough- ..yea u get the idea :) well the good looking guys ive known in the past are all either: 1. a player 2. a jerk 3. boring personality/not fun or easy to tlk to
lol ok ok. is that offensive in some way? :/ i dno... well i noe some guys that are really cool :) ..except theyre already taken. YEA ok this sums up the good looking guys in this world. theyre all either:
1. player 2. jerk 3. boring 4. taken -____- screw their gfs
oh wait ur probs all thinking im really shallow and i only like ppl coz of their looks.. THATS NOT TRUE >:C hmph. its jst that ALL the cool and interesting guys are taken -______-
loool so yea..i think that sums up the topic of my crush: ..i dnt noe any guy that i CAN have a crush on..so yeaa i dnt really have one :)
▼to my [ex] best friend: for being an amazing friend and giving me such happy memories that i shall cherish forever.
|| 12:32 AM
30 day letter challenge day 1 - Your Best Friend
ahh my best friend. well to be honest i don't have one and i dont think ive had one for quite a while now. i used to have a best friend, a very good one too. we were like practically sisters. you couldve locked us both up in a room with nothing else and we wuldve found some way to entertain each other and have fun jst enjoying each others company. :) and if you've known me for a while im sure you know who im talking about.
we met in kindy and ..i dont remmeber how we become friends but we were tight as. from kindy to yr2 she was pretty much my only friend and i was her only friend...well we had other friends but i realise now that we rejected them all. i suppose at that time we didnt need anyone else but each other.
well yr 3 came..and for the first time we werent in the same class. and from yr 3 onwards i suppose we realised we needed other friends as well as each other...so i became really close to someone else..and we began to drift apart a bit. yr 4 i think we drifted apart more..and i became really close to another person and at first my best friend still used to sit with me and stuff...but i think by the end of yr4/beginning of yr5 we kind of were barely even friends anymore..
well...yr 5 she didnt really exist in my life much.. i had my new close friends..and she had her other friend so we grew apart...but eventually we came back together again. and in yr 6 we formed the beginning of my old group.
me, my best friend, my 2 close friends from yrs3&4 and another close friend i met in yr 5.
yr 7 came and me and best friend were really close again. almost like how we were in yr 2. i still remember really clearly this one memory of me and her laughing like crazy at our lockers during class. we were laughing about something stupid, and we got in trouble coz we were so loud we distracted other classes...but its such a perfect memory. me and her happy, carefree, laughing and enjoying each others company.
well by middle of yr 7 we drifted apart again and i grew closer to a girl who was new to the skl. yr 8 we were no longer really best friends...we were jst close friends.
beginning of yr9 [this year] we were close-ish..but we were drifting apart again. except i suppose this time i was old and mature enough to notice and care about it. i found myself having to try to keep our relationship together, it was alot of effort at times..and it only got harder wen shit happened at skl and i wasnt able to spend as much effort on our relationship..coz i was trying to keep myself sane. i wont explain wat shit happened...but most of u probs already noe anyway. and if you do noe, then i dont blame the shit that happened for me and her not being friends. we were already growing apart alot this yr..
so yea. shit happened..she moved groups..my old group collapsed completely. we all joined other groups... and now me and her? well i think we say hi to each other maybe 2or 3 times a wk? we have almost every class togetehr but we dont tlk and we dnt sit near each other.
we're not best friends anymore...i dont even noe if we're friends. we're jst 2 girls who have a world of history together...happy times, sad times..hard times, easy times.
she's probably the only best friend i've ever had and the only best friend i ever will have. i dont think ill have a relationship with anyone else like the one i had with her. it was really very special.
but people change and grow. she always used to say to me that it was because of how different we were that we were such good friends. coz even from wen we were little we were really different. but i suppose at some point we jst got too diferent.
well. if ur reading this.. u noe who u are. and i hope u have a good life and ur friends treat u well and i hope wherever u are, wteva ur doing, i hope that ur happy. coz u deserve it for giving me amazing memories and giving me the best times of my childhood.
i hope you read this so you know just how much of an impact u had on my life. and and you gave me amazing memories. and yea. :)
▼i'm ranting for the next 30 days :)
|| 12:25 AM
okk so i think ive made it pretty obvious that im like uber bored. so im gona do this 30day letter challenge thing :) and i shall start today. btw jst coz its 12:27 and TECHNICALLY its tuesday already..im gona count it as monday coz i havnt slept yet :)
Day 1 — Your Best Friend Day 2 — Your Crush Day 3 — Your parents Day 4 —Your sibling (or closest relative) Day 5 — Your dreams Day 6 — A stranger Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to Day 11 — Your Future Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain Day 13 — Someone you wish you could forgive Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from Day 15 — The person you miss the most Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country Day 17 — Someone from your childhood Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to Day 23 — The last person you kissed Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day Day 28 — Someone that changed your life Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
oh and in case ur wondering this is where i hav to write about the topic for the nxt 30 days. nwais so yeaa... oh btw this is taxed off amanda :)
▼you only care what i think when i agree. do you even listen to me otherwise?
Monday, June 28, 2010 || 6:42 PM
AHAHAHA soo true so true ^^
today was a boring day. ommgshh i hate hols. theyre sooo friggin boringg .. TT i wana go back to skl and watch my friends lesbian rape each other ;] hahaha
got my haircut today x] OMFGG FRIGGIN HAIRDRESSER. i told her to layer my hair more and like starting from higher..but NOO it 'doesnt match my fringe' apparently. i dont care if you think it doesnt match my fringe. its my hair and i want you to layer it more. so layer it >:C
..yeaa she didnt layer it. -_____- maybe ill go to some other place and get them to do it..
spent like hours changing the template for my blog. isnt it pretty? :) haha. took me agggeess to find a template i liked but yea. did i mention today was boorringg?? i think im gona have to find new stuffs to watch so i dnt die of boredom in my house.
hmm this is my week:
tomoz: SUPPOSED TO GO SHOPPING..but no have to babysit fkn bros instead >:C
wed: ...cant rememebr..nothing i think
thurs: possibly going out with friends :)
fri: alicias partyy :)
sat: chink skl. ..maybe ill organise to go out after that with friends :)
sun: ...nothing..unless possibly going out :)
..heeyy my week doesnt look that bad ^^ hahaa...jst hav to get past wed without dying. and i hav to actualy ask my mum bout all those outings.. :/ LOL
oh oh. good stuffs to watch ppl?? i need to make a list. :)
mm...i can smell lychee...smells like easyway..I WANT EASYWAY x] yummyy...and coffee. easyway and coffee :) im hungry now.
▼ive decided i dont care. so why does it still hurt?
Sunday, June 27, 2010 || 7:17 PM
everydaymay not be good,
but there's somethinggood in every day
shuttup just shuttup shuttup. shuttup just shuttup shuttup.
omg thats exactly how i feel right now. just shuttup. i dont care what you think and i dont want to hear it. i tried to be nice but now youre just really getting on my nerves. dont smile at me like that dont try to be nice. cant you just leave me along and let me be pissed at you? stop checking what im doing GIVE ME SOME FKN SPACE.
youre such a hypocrite. when i was sad going through shit you told me to go join any group, make new friends and be happy again. so i did and yea im happy now. and then now you tell me you dont like them and you dont like me being around them.
WELL MAKE UP YOUR FKN MIND. actually dont. i dont really care coz im not gona listen to you anyways so wteva. but omgg you give shit advice and expect me to actually follow it. and sometimes its like you dont know me at all. sure you know some things about me really well...but other things...you really dont get me at all do you? well alright. wteva. i cbf to explain myself to you anyway. BUT IF YOU COULD BE MORE OPENMINDED it would make my life so much easier. arghh. doesnt matter. i know you never will be more open..youll never accept that maybe im different to who you want me to be. and if you cant do that then i have only one thing to say: shuttup just shuttup shuttup.
sighh now i feel bad. yeaa i still love you. but leave me alone. please?
shout out to lizzy my biffle :) dont worry if your mum doesnt let you run away. ill sneak you out with me hehe. and and call me when u wana tlk bout the thing you said yesterday. i shall be your counsellor for FREE :) haha ily xx.
▼~i will never say never. i will fight til forever..
Saturday, June 26, 2010 || 10:47 PM
i want food. but theres nothing yummy in the fridge >:C ohhh coffeee.. i want coffee♥ x]
to amanda:dont worry i still love you to bits my penguin-wannabe lesbian nun HUBBYY♥ hahaha but noo dnt wana say the rest :) coz coz I LIKE CYBER RAPE ;] hahhaha
things to do:
watch..personal preference or wteva funny pornographic azn drama amanda is watching ;]
finish maths hw.. :/ or copy jos :)
get laptop fixed so i can use proper msn again >:C
finish watching HIMYM
OH OH ITS 11:10. hahhaa ill get to finally make my 11:11 wish OH OH 11:11 NOW
... -wishing-...
ok done. sighh my wish will never come true TT
meh oh well.
omg so fkn booredd. bye
▼i think i'll go hide behind my pot plant now.
Friday, June 25, 2010 || 8:59 PM
ommgg. cant believe you guys read my blog last night TT
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE -glare-
i think i should probably get a diary instead of publicly embarassing myself. -dies in a hole-
mm smart idea.. but nahh not stuffed to keep a diary.
OMG YOU PEOPLE. [yes still talking to you] YOU PEOPLE ARE CRUEL.
you should feel bad. preying on an innocent, young, naive girl and laughing at her embarassment, robbing her of her dignity and leaving her publicly humiliated.
did my guilt tripping work?? :)
wait heres a pic of my face:
:)
▼somedays i feel like the luckiest kid alive
Thursday, June 24, 2010 || 9:13 PM
ok so i realised i havnt blogged in a while..mostly coz im not bothered. but i figured if i am gona blog i shuld blog about tonight :)
oh oh but before i do..thought i should mention that i might be getting a detention and im really devo now >:C apparently everyone whose been on facebook/blogger/tumblr etc. in class is getting a detention..whcih is like everyone...including me TT sighh
nwaiis hahha had the best night today with dabaja and karina and bella and sam :) it was the glen waverly concert thing which sounds all nerdy and lame but SOO AWESOMELY FUN :)
hahahha me and karina spent like the whole first rehearsal thing checking out guys and trying to find all the good looking ones. ommg this guy in a grey jumper 8) -swoon-. haha and there was a non-azn sax player that i pointed out to all my non-azn friends :)
and then..DABAJA YOU ARE A LEGEND so during our like 2hr break we decided to socialise :) which basically meant us all scaring the poor glen waverley ppls in our attempt to befriend them hahha. but wteva it was fun :) and and we talked to the grey jumper guy :OO -double swoon-
and then at the end of the concert..dabaja gets this really stupid idea right that we should go up to grey jumper guy [and yesh i do know his name..im not a retarded fangirl stlker..-shifty- sort of hehe] and and say bye to him or something. well i think i lost all of whatever dignity i had left in those 2minutes TT i swear we looked like massive desperate fuckwits standing there.. but noo..
nwais so we attempted our fail goodbye..felt like idiots and then left :)
haha aweshommee nighhtt. OH OH AND karina and bella and sam..YOU GUYS TOTALLY DOGGED ME >:C i thought you all went upstairs..but no -___- lol and i got squashed out of my clarinet section so i had to sit at the back like a loner coz everyone was too fat for me to fit in TT
haha so tonight was really fun just what i needed. LOVE YOU ALL :) xx
btw ommgg i just remembered..this mornign i lost my clarinet AGAIN..omgg wow today was a big day.. wel i left my clari on the bus this morn for the third time in like 2months TT and i was freaking out coz my mum and skl would kill me coz its the skls and its really expensive. and i was like calling the bus depot every 5mins until they finally picked up..and THEY FOUND IT :O ommg i swear i almost died of relief... :)
hehe somedays i feel so lucky its like..amazing. wow. my life is like actually pretty amazing.
OMMMGGG MY NIGHT JUST GOT TEN TIMES BETTER :O ..wont tell you why though..so BYEE hhaha 8]
▼a depressed post. i hate fridays.
Friday, June 18, 2010 || 5:59 PM
there's this one person whose really caring and nice. who notices when her friends are sad and talks to them when everyone else turns their back. she even asked me once if i was ok. me. asked me. there should be more people like that in this world. people who care about others and will sacrifice their happy day to listen to their friends' problems.
i watched today when this girl was comforting her friend when none of her other friends seemed to care and i couldn't help but be sad. why did no one else seem to care? probably because they were trying to avoid tlking about depressing things..or avoid tlking about people's feelings. but this one girl cared enough about her friend to talk to her about her problems even though such depressing matters ruined her day.
then i became even sadder when i realised i dont have anyone like that in my life. i dont have anyone to talk to openly and just be me. no one notices how i feel and if they do they just avoid me..give each other weird looks and ignore it.
sometimes i wish. that maybe just for a day i wouldnt have to go around trying to keep everyone happy. i wouldn't have to worry so much about everything i say and do just to please others. if maybe someday someone will notice my emotions and will care enough to talk to me.
maybe i'll meet someone like that someday. someday i might be important to someone and they'll want to keep me happy instead of the other way round for a change.
why should i bother to work so hard reading other people's emotions and constantly trying to keep everyone happy when no one can be bothered to do the same for me? why should i care about other peoples' feelings if they dont even notice mine? i dont know. but the answer doesnt matter anyway cause ive figured that its just my personality to always be keeping everyone happy and i'll just have to live with it. but maybe someday...
▼i know which is my goal LOL jk im korea ;]
Thursday, June 17, 2010 || 10:59 PM
^^title above for all the ppl who are going for korea ;] hahhaha im having fun dissing them on fb. hehe
lools nwais so im supposed to have done geo hw tonight..but i really cbs. so ill jst do it in science or something tomorrow :)
>:C i should've been at the trinity dance tonight. sighhh my last opportunity for a fun dance..until i go clubbing in uni ;] hahas. all the other high school dances are boring and formal and lame sigh.
nothing much else to sayy..i like music. ommgg i want some headphones like beats or something..but theyre uber expensive and im uber povo TT
lol okss. nwais ima go back to fb. and u can go back to wteva u were doing before u stumbled upon the blog of a random kid living in a random world :)
xx ciaaoo ..[dnt ask. i think i sound like a beverly hills kid wen i say that O_O]
▼i'll never stop waiting for you
Wednesday, June 16, 2010 || 8:20 PM
i use headphones to drown out the voices
i let the bass thump through my brain to block out the thoughts
i let the melodies sing loud to hide the pain
i use music to escape reality
when i was three i believed in the monster under my bed
who would wait for me to fall off and eat me
when i was six i bravely scoffed
'i'm not scared. i know monsters aren't real'
when i was fifteen i realised monsters are real
they exist in everyone fighting to come out
and sometimes...sometimes they win.
▼i'm chuck bass. your argument is invalid
Monday, June 14, 2010 || 3:22 PM
some days i can't think straight
some days i don't want to talk
some days i want to forget who i am
some days i don't care some days i almost feel normal
some days i remember how things used to be
some days i feel certain things will get better
some days i know i'll get over this
but other days i just want to sleep and dream
and only wake up when the world is perfect
spent the day youtubing the bands i used to love so much [still do]: short stack, boys like girls, simple plan.
reminiscing and listening to songs i used to love when i was like really little..before i got converted to mainstream :]. facebooked..looking for pretty pictures. talking about music with amanda :)
i had a good day. sorry for the short post but i wasnt gona write anything at all. just let you look at the beauty of people's photography. ..but i thought i should share my musical, nostaligic day and i couldn't sum it up into a title so yep.
i love music.
▼like a blank page i have no creativity left in me for a title.
Saturday, June 12, 2010 || 7:53 PM
according to greek mythology humans were born with 4 arms, 4 legs, & 2 faces but Zeus feared their power and split them apart condemning humans to spend their lives searching for their other half
haha omgsh chinese skl with LIZZY AND ELISA was hilarious today :) we watched mao's last dancer for the whole day coz...i dno the teacher let us and HAHAHA my favourite scene ;]
liz: i'm a virgin, i've never done it li cunxin: never done wat? liz: i've never had sex...you do know what sex is dont you? li cunxin: ofc i do. one two three four five sex
BAHAHHAHHA ommg funniest part :) heheh oh and one of the many retarded conversations i had with elisa and lizzy: "you put the pencil inside the pencil sharpener" "YESSH you put it in and you move it around ;]" ...and the rest didnt make any sense so ill leave that out :)
anywaayy so after chinese skl i went out to dinner for my bday with my dad and gayle and grace. we went to this jap restaurant in the city called jazushi. its like where they play jazz music every night and OMMGG BEST RESTAURANT EVER. the food was like ommgg soo good. and the restaurant was so warm..and and i think there was like incense or something coz the restaurant smelt really pretty too :) heheh and and i got AWESHOOMMEE bday present ^^...well it was money. but hehheee aweesommee.
so yesh. i had a really good day today. oh btw. chinese school is awesome with LIZZY AND ELISA. I LOVE THOSE TWO BITCHES.♥
oh and elisa if you read this. STOP WORRYING I LOVED YOUR PRESENT AND THE CARD :)
▼give me something to admire. make me a blue fire
Tuesday, June 8, 2010 || 8:53 PM
a blog for amanda...and anyone else who reads my blog which is probably no one:
OHMYGAWWSSH. ok i started playing this game on my ifone today called virtual families [its kind of like sims ..except it was free ^^] annd im like full addicted now. i was playing it like all through matrix today but then my person was just depressed all the time so i got rid of her and started again hehe x]
but now my person is retarded. >:C i swear. ommgg i put it in the workroom to try and make it do some work and make money x] BUT NOOO. it walked out of the room and in the little 'activity' box it said it was going to 'ADMIRE SELF' TT. haha i was like full rofl-ing over that. and then i tried to make it do work again and it said it was going to go 'take an insect outside'
WHAT KIND OF WEIRDO HAV I ADOPTED?? D:
zoomgg. and even worse...coz the girl is married to this guy so then i tried to make them have sex..and make a baby x] but you know what they did? THEY STARTED ARGUING ABOUT IT COZ THEY WERENT 'READY' TT why did i adopt responsible people?? why couldnt i get rebels who fail in life but are so much more interesting??
hahaha. ok enuff about my virtual family. photo day today ..which meant total bludge day :) hehe
sighh and now i really need to do some more of my shakespeare essay.. TT oomgg. u know i hate shakespeare? him and ms colemans retarded essay topics.. TT
recent addictions:
virtual family xD
pretty pictures. ommg i spent like all of yesterday looking for pretty pics during class so i culd make them my desktop background ^^ hehe. so now everytime i look at my computer... "OH MY. A PRETTY PICTURE -starry eyed-"
coffee. [not so recent but yea..]
cant wait for long weekend :)
-off to check on my retarded virtual family do english essay-
▼'it's the thought that counts'. 'it would count more if they thought'
Friday, June 4, 2010 || 5:51 PM
if you're reading this...
congratulations. you're alive
if that's not something to smile about
then i don't know what is.
i realised something today..something massively life changing:
ITS MY BIRTHDAY IN ONE WEEK xD
i cant believe i like almost forgot that. but then after i made this realisation i suddenly realised that i wasnt particularly excited either. how weird is that? i used to get completely hyped up like months before my bday..and now its in a wk and im just like meh.
sighhh you know wats really frustrating?? is when you really want to do something and you have it like all pictured out in your mind perfectly...but then YOU CANT DO IT >:C
well for me that would probs be drawing. i hate when u have a really pretty image in your mind and you wana draw it coz its so pretty...and then you try and it comes out looking so bad you wished you never tried in the first place. TT so frustrating.
nwaiis. chinese school was hilarious today :) me and my friend lizzy were mucking around and being stupid as usual. hehe but i think the teacher hates us now coz we kept talking and laughing and slapping each other etc etc ^^
did you know that i am the equivalent of a homeless man? see i have no income, dont own a house...etc etc. and i survive completely on charity. the charity of my parents. so therefore as a homeless person i think charities really should donate their money and help to me :) ...as well as hobos ofc.
food is yummy. i really want some coffee.
food. coffee. food. sleep. thats all you need for a happy life :)
▼life has no meaning. we just exist in the moment
Thursday, June 3, 2010 || 9:09 PM
21:06:09[c=#FF0080]- [/c][c=0]until now [/c] says: "hey christine. i wipe my butt after shitting standing up. what about you?" "OMG. i do too. we have soo much in common" "OMFG. i thought i was the only one that was comfortable with the idea of making poo butterflies" 21:06:58 I say: LOOOOOL BAHHAHAHAHA oommmgggg LOOOLS. 21:08:02[c=#FF0080]- [/c][c=0]until now [/c] says:im going to print screen what you sed and put it on my blog:] MUAHAHAHAHA 21:08:10 I say:lool i jst print screened wat YOU said :] 21:08:14 [c=#FF0080]- [/c][c=0]until now [/c] says:WHATTT? 21:08:18 I say:and IM GONA PUT IT ON MY BLOG 21:08:19[c=#FF0080]- [/c][c=0]until now [/c] says:BIATCHHH 21:09:01[c=#FF0080]- [/c][c=0]until now [/c] says:and they go to my blog and they'll be like "OMG. christine is such a freak. who the hell talks about poo butterflies. which reminds me are you able to hang up poo butterflies? 21:09:45 I say:...O____O ommmgg. i shuld print screen that as well LOOOOOOL. gawd you are one hilarious kid ;]
LOOOOOL hahhaha just had a hilarious convo with amanda. so funny i thought i should share some of it with you ;] hehhe emphasis on the poo butterflies. oh and in case amanda says otherwise in her blog, i wasnt the person who brought up this topic in our convo -shifty- x]
nwaaiss. im supposed to be trying to come up with a final design for my textiles project..and im still failing miserably TT
GOOODNIGHHT EVERYONE ^^
▼i try not to hope, i try not to dream. but my heart never listens
Wednesday, June 2, 2010 || 7:16 PM
every day i tell myself over and over not to hope, not to dream. my mind builds stone walls around my heart in a futile attempt to keep myself in cold, hard reality. i blind my eyes to those flickers of light, i block my ears from those soft whispers. every day i do everything i can to stop myself from hoping. every day my stone walls crumble to dust, every night my heart dreams. and every time my heart is shattered and as the jagged edges of reality cut deep into me i wonder if i will ever learn. i wonder if i will ever stop hoping. i wish i could. i know i can't.
currently: stuffing face full of sultanas knowing that i'll probs die wen i hav to eat dinner later...but hey sultanas are yummy ^^
what i should be currently doing: looking up sass and bide clothes and just outfits in general because i need inspiration on what to outfit to make for textiles >:C its extremely frustrating. OMMG coz i had a really pretty design for a denim jacket and then i came up with a really cool design for a dress AND it was actually inspired by sass and bide BUT NOO. apparently the two dont go together coz one's edgy and 'tough' or wteva..and the dress is too..tribal o.O HUH.
so now i have to try and come up with a new design for my dress that is 'edgy and tough' TT ..im thinking chains mmm... :/
what i want to be currently doing: reading the latest vampire academy book [spirit bound]. and yesh if you have read my previous posts...which u probs havnt then you're probs thinking hasn't she already read that? in which case i would reply why yes i have, but rose and dimitri are just so perfect together that i have to read it again x]
what i really need to get to eventually..: study for elective history test tomorrow. TT i only remembered on the train home and then i realised i had left my folder at skl...so now i need to google info.coz i noe like literally nothing. sighh
ohh yesh jb. id fuck you too ;]
you make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed, dizzy in my head...
everyday may not be good, 
every day i tell myself over and over not to hope, not to dream. my mind builds stone walls around my heart in a futile attempt to keep myself in cold, hard reality. i blind my eyes to those flickers of light, i block my ears from those soft whispers. every day i do everything i can to stop myself from hoping. every day my stone walls crumble to dust, every night my heart dreams. and every time my heart is shattered and as the jagged edges of reality cut deep into me i wonder if i will ever learn. i wonder if i will ever stop hoping. i wish i could. i know i can't.