Tuesday, August 31, 2010 || 9:13 PM

pretty cool huh?
omg LAST DAY OF WINTERRR~ ahh i cant wait for summer holidays (:
anyways back to textiles assignment. sighhh. i should also sleep earlier so im less depressed lol. yea uber short post coz i jst liked that picture
Saturday, August 28, 2010 || 9:13 PM
all the crazy shit i did tonight
those will be the best memories
i just wanna let it go for the night
that will be the best therapy for me
i still love that song ^^ but gahh im really sick of my ipod atm. i need new songs but coz of stupid exams i cant waste hours looking for songs. sighhh T_T so instead im jst shuffling every song on my ipod.. omg such nostalgia. i hav songs from bands that i liked in like junior school.. like simple plan etc. well i still like them but i used to be obsessive :L
its so weird though how some songs remind you so clearly of certain people.. or jst memories and moments. like like.. there was this one song.. i think it was a kelly rowland one or something and it reminded me of my phase in like yr6 xmas hols wen i played runescape all day everyday :L and this other song reminded me of this bk i read like last yr. SUCH A SAD BUT GOOD BOOK. omg i wana read it now. and then theres the songs that remind me of ppl. lol i spent like an hr thinking about ppl who used to be in my life.. :L
so basically my conclusion: songs have weird powers over our lives.
this morn: ermm woke up at 9 and left the house 20mins after i was meant to be at netball :L and then my mums car like screwed over so i missed like hlf the game -_____- so gay. and its our second last game too which means only one more left T_T
nwaiisss had a 'study sesh' today. loool which kinda failed epicly. we ended up watching salt instead which steph shouted me and michael bought all the food :L lool maybe i shuld pay them back... nahhhh im good. (: nwais preetyy good movie except the ending so gay. it jst like stops hlfway through so theyre probs gona make a second movie but stilll ommgg i wana know wat happens -_____-
omgg srry but can we please talk about something else?
you're dragging this on waayyy too long
....
rawwrr i miss you
and i wont get to see you for ages ):
....
seems like so long ago that things were good between us
we were spaz and happy and it felt just like how things were before the world changed
....
no i dont hate you, im not pissed at you either. i just dont want to talk to you
i dont want to be around you. and dont ask me why because i dont know
....
i dont know where i stand with you ppls
i dont like feeling this insecure all the time. sighh
....
i like being around you. it's easy and i dont feel like i have to try.
which is a good break from all the acting i do around ppl these days.
i dont know what i want anymore. sometimes i'm happy with this, sometimes i'm just satisfied and sometimes i cant help but waste hours wishing to be more. i wonder what you wish for?
wow. you're actually like the nicest person.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010 || 5:43 PM

if i could say what i want to say
i'd say i want to blow you away
be with you every night...
guess im wishing my life away, with these things ill never say...
why can't i just tell you that i care
cause im feeling nervous
trying to be so perfect
cause i know you're worth it, yeaa
LOOOL at my title. i just saw it on facebook and i was like bahhahahaha omg thats actually true :L i always thought eminem was black though. until like.. a few wks ago wen i was enlightened :L
decided to go sit in the park near my house after skl today coz MATRIX WAS CANCELLED.. dno if i told you already.. but yea so i decided to be a good girl and instead of hanging round stra i came home to do my hw.. T_T loool i even managed to convince karina to be good and go home and not stra too heheh. ..except i think bella and steph were pissed LOL :L
nwaaisss so i sat in the park with my laptop and hist folder and stuff for like 1.5hrs with NO INTERNET. and ommgg you know wen theres no internet to distract me i actually work really fast? I FINISHED MY HIST EMPATHY TASK and its like.. not even 6 yet. ommgg im so amazed by myself. (: ive forgotten how productive my life can be without internet.. but nwais its sooo cold outside and coz it was like windy so now i hav like a headache coz my head is that cold .. T_T yeaa i gave up and came home even though i still have english hw to do. shit its 5.49 already.. umm rite i will turn off my internet at 6. 11MORE MINUTES OF INTERNET LEFT :/
nwais so ive decided that from now on wen i see homeless ppl on the streets in winter i will give them some money. because seriously mann.. i have no idea how they manage to survive in the cold all day.. and night.. their whole lives. really makes me appreciate my heaters.. [yesh plural. i have like 3 heaters and its funny coz mine is the smalles room in the whole house lool] so yesh. i will give money to homeless ppl.. but only in winter. .. i wonder how long this will last.. LOL im too azn to give away my money :/ maybe ill jst give them some of my old ugly clothes lool...
9minutes left...
umm umm.. my day.. OH KARINA.
dear karina,
FROM NOW ON I WILL MAKE YOU STOP BEING SO REBEL. stop getting home at like 10pm at night and making your mum pissed and etc etc. becausseee if she makes you move skls i will bitchslap you. >:C YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO MOVE SKLS. no. huh. ill find some pics of those massively long skirts at catholic skls.. that should motivate you to be good so u dnt have to go to an ugly catholic skl :L
WHOOOOAA so weird.. i jst looked up from my comp and my mum is like standing at my door waving at me.. O_O apparently she was calling my name for like 5mins and i didnt realise LOL. obviously in-ear earphones work reallyy well haha. my music isnt even loud at all but i cant hear anything.. hehe cooooool
im feeling strangely happy atm ^^ hehe thinking about things ive heard.. people.. things people have said.. mm now that i think about it there are actually many good things about my life (:
and now i shall go do my eng hw. sighh happiness fading.
Monday, August 23, 2010 || 2:52 PM

the first time i cried for you
the second time i waited for you
this time i just want to forget you
i think there comes a point when you have to just let go and give up, because otherwise we'll just keep getting hurt. cherish the happy memories, but maybe we should stop here before things get worse. i dont want to hurt you, i dont want to get hurt. go, im letting you go. i hope it brings you happiness.~
sitting in maths. new chapter of exercises that we should hav finished.. and i havnt even finished the last chapter. fml. stupid laptop battery.. only 11% left and the orange light wont stop flashing.. so annoying -____-
ok my plan for tonight. i will get home asap, turn off my internet and finish my 2wks of matrix hw, start my hist empathy task, finish the reproduction part of my science notes and THEN if its like before midnight i will turn my internet on. god im so behind on my hw. FML.
lol ok im home now. this is like.. 5hrs later :L OMGG jst got a text from matrix saying its cancelled tmrw WOOOOOOOOOOOT (: hehhee so happy. this means i can jst like hang around stra or somethin after skl hehe. ahh such freedom. i feel LIBERATED hehe. ..so gay though coz i just spent like 3hrs catching up on all my matrix hw.. FML. wat a waste of my time >:C sighh. now i will start my history empathy task.. :/
OMMGG i cant wait til the holidays. allnighters, tumblr, youtubing random shizz, downloading music, watching HIMYM, talking.. ommgg -dies- i cant wait hehe. AND SUMMERRR HOLIDAYS ommgg. ill be parent-free almost all summer coz my mums gona be overseas with my bro until skl starts.. and im only going to china for like 2wks. whcih meannsss that the rest of my holidays.. IM FREEEEE (: i can do wteva i want hehee
baby you can go wherever you like
i said you can go wherever you likee
yeaa, yeaa ~
Tuesday, August 17, 2010 || 7:55 PM

...and even the sunset reminds me of you ~
hehe my mum said i could go to rice ^^ .. well i didnt tell her who i was going with.. or that it ends probs at like 11pm.. LOL oh well. my dad will pick me up sooo its ok :) ..hopefully
omggg the textiles assignment thing is due in 2WEEKS.. T_T and i still havnt even bought my denim garment :/ sighh ill hav to remember to do that tmrw arvo.. and i need to finish making the stupid dress grrr. plus writing science notes. have i mentioned i hate exams?
went to stra after skl and and i officially love korean shops :) i swear its like they understand the azn persons need for cheap food so they make everything like $1 x] heheh i bought an ice cream and a drink and it was only 1.70 LOL cheapest foods i ever bought.
ommgg btw going to stra with bella and steph is like.. O_O because i swear EVERY SINGLE PERSON that walks through stra plaza bella or steph will be like 'oh i know him/her. born: ... skl:...' etc etc. omg i still dnt get how they know like the entire azn stra population.. LOL. oh haha it was soo funny though coz we fb stlked this girl on stephs phone and she was sitting like literally a metre away from us and we were tlking about her and how she knows everyone.. then steph started commenting on her hair and trying to decide if she was pretty all not.. LOL so funny.
oh yeaa u know how i faked sick last wk?? well i did.. nwais. LOL now both my bros are sick so so my 'sickness' is actually believable now.. hehe x] except coz my body is so pro and healthy I was only 'sick' for like 5hrs.. :]
ok nwais. i should go do something productive.. like like hw.. or hav a shower or something. sighh
byee~
btw.. why the fk are randoms commenting on my blog?? O__O like... whoever 'dentist blog' is ..and 'helen' who blogwalked onto my blog? O_O omgg randoms if ur jst gona tell me to go read ur blog then please stop commenting -____- its uglifying my tagbox. :) and its kind of weird and stlkerish :/
4 days
Sunday, August 15, 2010 || 9:20 PM

why do i feel like for every new friend i make, i lose an old one?
sighh.. i miss you. i miss the times when we could talk for hours and hours about anything and everything. all those fun times we had laughing about random shit.. well not that we're not friends anymore its jst that.. i guess.. our conversations are always about the same things these days.. and im not interested in those things so its never really much of a conversation.. :/ i miss the old you, before you became obsessed. i tried to tell you something the other day but.. i dont think you were really listening or cared or wteva.
hopefully you'll get over this obsession sometime soon.. because you were one of my closest friends. well you still are.. but all you ever talk about the past few months is the same thing.. and.. yea.. i dont mind listening to you talk about ur obsession etc etc.. but i dont want it to be the only thing we ever talk about.
i miss you.
do you remember we were sitting there by the water
you put your arm around me for the first time
you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
you are the best thing that's ever been mine
2 days.
Thursday, August 12, 2010 || 11:12 AM

And i don't know how it gets better than this
you take my hand and drag me headfirst, fearless
hehheheh no school for meee todayy :) slept in til 10am ..but im still tired. how sad though that im bludging school so i can have a hardcore homeworking sesh -____- i think i should stop procrastinating.. then i wont get massive piles of hw.
ohhh my mums being so nice to me coz she thinks im sick.. :/ i almost feel bad. lolol oh well i shall enjoy this niceness while i can :)
hmmm i want a job. so then i can buy all the things i want hehe 8]
- stuff to decorate my room with
- clothes
- jewellery/accessories blablabla
- new earphones coz mine are dying -__-
- a new computer hehe x]
I am a material girl
living in a material world...
i think the lyrics go something like that.. i forget.
lololol my mum is trying to skype call my aunt or something and and this is their conversation
mum: hello? can you hear me??
aunt: no i cant hear you, is your computer working properly??
haha sad thing is theyre not even joking.. wat noobs.
ok nwais i should stop wasting time and continue with my essay.. sighh i hate essays.
OMGGGG IM ALMOST FINISHED MY ESSAY. just 2 more acts to write about.. xD so happy. and where is my lunch mother? im hungry grrr
Wednesday, August 11, 2010 || 8:32 PM
i got to school like hlf hr late because the stupid bus never came -___- so stupid. so then like 50students all had to raid some other random bus that was full of old ppl lool i think they were probs pissed.
nwaiss i got to skl and then realised that the maths school cert trial was PERIOD 1 lol but i got extra time coz coz it wasnt my fault i was late hehe ^^ nwaiisss it wasnt that hard which was good.. coz i think i only studied for like 10mins last night..
u noe im actually considering skipping a day of school just so i can catch up on sleep and actually finish my massive pile of hw. fml...maybe i should. MAYBE I SHOULD but how? arghh i could attempt to act sick i guess... hmmm lolol meh ill try it tmrw morning.. see if my mum feels nice enuff to let me :L and if not.. well.. oh well. yea no good subjects tmrw either.. geo, sci, double english [eewwww], maths, re
...sam will kill me though. sci and re alone.. :L
should i?? i dont know..
pros: be able to finish my pile of homework, catch up on much needed sleep, get to miss some gay subjects, SLEEPPP omfg thats a good enuff reason i rckn
cons: errr.. i miss school? will probs end up with more hw from having to catch up on classwork, i dno...
well clearly there are more pros then cons. so i shall attempt to fake sick tmrw morning :) ..hopefully my mum will be nice. hehe
gnighhtt.. im gona go google how to fake sick :L .. or google how to make yourself sick in one night.. mmm
Monday, August 9, 2010 || 7:36 PM
omfggg i love this girls room so much. it has inspired me to redecorate my room.. again. lol actually i never finished redecorating my room coz i decided to spend all my money on shopping again :L but this picture has inspired me to continue making my room look prettyy ^^

somedayy i will go to a masquerade wearing a pretty dress in the night. and there will be white city lights and stars to light up the dark.
i want a ring.
sorry ppls cbf to write a proper post. ohh its 11:59. this is my new official wishing time because i always seem to miss 11:11 but i never miss 11:59. hahaha well 11:59 is the last minute of the day. so its special ^^
ive literally done no work today. im so fked. T_T
gnighhtt~
Friday, August 6, 2010 || 9:04 PM

pet show movie night thing today~ haha it was lots of fun :) OMGSH i wana be able to dance now. OH and omg i want that boombox wall thing. haha it was like a wall made up completely of those old style black and white boombox thingos. SO AWESHUMM. told michael to go make one for me coz he wants to be an engineer which according to him is someone who makes stuff.. except he refused. hmph.
good day at skl today as well :) haha i had like a free period coz in geo we had a sub except our teacher hadnt left us any work so then she was like 'you can do whatever you want.' HEHEE :) which obviously meant skyping to ppl and playing bubbleshooter :L
maths quadratics test today.. omg i think i shouldve studied more last night instead of tlking to ppl TT lolol i like couldnt rememebr so much stuff.. but oh well. i dnt think i did that bad ^^ ..hopefully
wat else.. ummm oh double pe. OMFG the stupid teacher who was marking us wen we were playing touch footy.. RACIST BETCH MUCH.. -____- hate her. haha coz my team called 'chopstick rice' is AZNSS lolol and we were versing another azn team bahahha and we were all failing epicly coz none of us play touch footy.. and she was getting so pissed at us. pfftt.. ><
WWCCCCHHHHHHHH. whipped so bad.
gnight ppl~
Wednesday, August 4, 2010 || 4:59 PM

no no no noo, don't phunk with my heart..~
letting go of the past is hard, but sometimes you just have to accept that people change. sometimes you have to give up the fight and just let whatever happens happen.
so if you want to be a part of my life, feel free to walk in. if you dont want to be a part of my life, feel free to walk out.
but please don't keep walking in and out.
i dont think i appreciate things enough. so i was pissed off/angry/upset today mostly in the morning. i got home today and decided to go for a run coz sport usually makes me feel better. and it worked :) im not angry anymore hehe...ofc thats probs coz i now have a massive headache and i hav no space left for any emotional pain.
nwais so im doing maths hw while thinking about my day and my life and all the problems in it when i suddenly realised something.. the people i have surrounded myself with, the people i call my friends are actually extremely supportive. i was thinking back on some of the conversations ive had with some friends today, and also friends whom i havnt talked to today [because they dont go to my skl] and i suddenly felt overwhelmed by the fact that theyre all so supportive and they love and care about me so much.
i dont think i appreciate them enough. so to my friends, i dno how to express how grateful i am that youre all in my life and that you care about me and youre so supportive its almost funny sometimes :) i love you all.
it's your choice now.
i'll stop fighting for you because its hurting me. walk in or walk out, i won't stop you.
but please, whatever you do, don't purposely kill me like this.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010 || 7:03 PM
i realised something just then. why is it that everytime anything happens like throughout my whole life ive always been the one to get upset? why is it that everyone else seems to be able to go on with their lives, not caring while i drive myself insane overthinking things? arrghhh i hate my brain.
is it because he/she is so much funnier?
is it because he/she is more fun to talk to?
is it because he/she is more interesting?
i could go on and on. i suppose he/she is just more likable.
is that why he/she has ppl around to support him/her?
i dont know. it's alright i can deal with suffering. its only annoying because
i suffer alone while he/she doesnt.
parent teacher interviews tonight.. lool turns out they actually werent as bad as i thought they would be.. ms coleman didnt bitch about me to my mum :D haha actually my geo and eng teachers both tlked about how they thought i was coping better with skl now and more focused now that all the shit that happened last term is over. LOL i suppose the only reason ms coleman didnt bitch about me is coz she felt sorry for me.. :L
ofc.. that brought up the topic of my friendships.. and how am i? and hows skl? hows friends? blablabla why did the stuff happen last term? [coz i never explained it properly to my mum...] so then i got pissed off again.
me: i'm fine, im normal its ok.
mum: good, as long as you're happy. -pause- ...because if you're not happy you cant study well.
..yea.. thanks mum. u care so much about how i feel its just overwhelming.
lol nwais im not actually very depressed anymore :L byeee~
Monday, August 2, 2010 || 6:50 PM
omfg so much hw its not even funny... TT
- 2wks worth of matrix hw to do by tmrrw
- 3wks of maths tutor for sunday
- overdue maths hw for skl..
- overdue science hw
- maths assessment task thing to study for fri
- AMC ...sometime soon nxt tues i think?
- history essay
...shit. i just realised that is actually a really long list. fml~ i really shuld stop procrastinating and do my hw on time.. so i dnt end up with wks worth of overdue crap. arrghhh
nwais had a massive d&m sesh with joanne after skl today. haha it was good :)
omgsh LOL highlight of the arvo wen me and jo were wlking in strathfield stn and i suddenly spot a 5$ note on the floorr 8] ehehhehe and then coz we're azn we picked it up. BUT we didn't feel bad coz i picked it up but i gave jo 4$ coz i owed her so i really only picked up 1$ off the floor.. which is ok :) haha so i dnt feel guilty ^^
nwais need to do some maths hw now. fml TT
LOLOL btw jst realised that atm my hit counter is 969 BAHHAHA epic 3-way ;]
Sunday, August 1, 2010 || 11:28 PM

haha isnt that a cool pic?
OHHH ..i missed 11:11 .. dammit.
well tonight was kind of depressing. talked about love and that kind of stuff with some ppl and.. i dno. jo says its not worth the pain. maybe shes right.. but i think ill still go on hoping that even in this crappy world love is still possible. and- sighh ok nvm. half of you ppl are probs thinking something along the lines of 'stfu you wouldnt know anything about what ur saying' ... i dno maybe ur rite. but considering how sad im feeling right now.. well even i know love can hurt. alot.
MOVING ON before ppl think im retarded.... whooaaa my hit counter says 956 O__O do that many ppl read my blog?? last time i checked it was like.. 933 or somethin.. lol well SAY HI IF YOU READ MY BLOG :) make me feel loved^^ haha now im curious to know if ppl read this and like who does.. or if my hit counter is jst broken or somethin :L
nwais i should sleep.. its almost midnight and im tired.
btw my night wasnt that bad. i was skype calling lizzy and hahhahha i love her :) i would probs be a lot more depressed now if i hadnt been tlking to her ^^
gnighhtt~
ps. HAPPYY BIRTHDAAYY STEPPHH! :)