Wednesday, September 29, 2010 || 6:39 PM

the homo sapien: the most intelligent, amazing, kind and loving of any other creature, but also the ugliest, cruellest, most destructive and selfish of any other creature.
ommgg i have a new favourite shop: dotti
hehe except it sucks coz like its too expensive to buy heaps from there but my dad was being nice today and bought me a dress hehehhe ^^

nwais watched a movie with my dad today and it was like.... disgusting... T_T lol coz we didnt know wat to watch so then we jst picked a random movie that was like on at that time and ended up watching girl who played with fire... or somethin like that. RETARDED MOVIE... like it wasnt even in english.. it was in swedish or somethin dno... it was about .. LOL i actually dno wat the plot was .. but it was like a murder case and they were tryin to find out stuff... not sure.. but about hlfway through we realised the main character was a lesbian when she decided to have lesbian sex.. T_T and i saw her get raped.. and YEA IT WAS GROSS.. lol dw i didnt actually watch those bits coz like my dad covered my face.. but i saw about 5seconds of it. then at the end ommgg the girl was shot like 3 times while trying to run away and then the ppl thought she was dead so they buried her.. but like.. she wasnt and u see this hand coming out of the ground and like scraping its way out.. CREEPY.. and she was fully covered in blood and dirt and like shaking and she looked really scary.
omg so embarassing i like screamed hlfway through the movie and everyone turned and stared at me.. T_T
lol so funny though coz last time i watched a movie with my dad he picked it and it turned out to be a gay movie like actually homosexual gay LOL so then this time i didnt let him choose and we still ended up watching a homosexual movie.. like WTFFF? WAT ARE CINEMAS SHOWING THESE DAYS? does anyone even want to watch movies like that? O_O weirdos.
ooo dinners ready (: smells yummy..
Tuesday, September 28, 2010 || 5:53 PM

huh. if thats true then why am i not happy? answer: because humans are greedy and just enough is never enough.
chuck: your world would be much easier if i didn't come backblair: that's true. but it wouldn't be my world without you in it
OMMG i finally caught up on the new gg eps last night SO EXCITING. chuck+blair=chair=(L) lool i was reading news about gg and stuff and they said something like 'everyone loves Chair' or something and it took me like 10mins to realise that 'Chair' was chuck and blair.. LOOL i was sitting there like.. WTF CHAIR? O_O so gayy though like.. WHY WOULD CHUCK BRING THAT FUGLY BLONDE THING BACK TO NY WITH HIM?? HE AND BLAIR ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER.
nwais went shopping today. it was weird... today was like the first time that i went shopping and didnt go on a massive shopping high T_T i think it had something to do with the excessive amount of mirrors. fml like everytime i turn around there was a mirror.. and i was subjected to the horror of having to see my reflection. everywhere. >> nwais so then i jst wore my sunglasses indoors as well coz it like hides some of my face (: and everything goes dark so i cant see my reflection properly nwais.
Friday, September 24, 2010 || 9:25 PM

survival secret: it gets worse before it gets better - try not to panic
omg... HOLIDAYYYSSS ahhhh so good. H.O.L.I.D.A.Y.S. (:
nwais had a pretty good day today hahahha slept in for like an hr coz i figured its last day of skl and no exams so doesnt matter if im late to skl :L ermm massive bludge day coz like no one was really bothered to learn and teachers werent bothered to teach lool oh except for elective hist.. -_- except no one brought books to skl so we couldnt learn anything anyway.. LOL
went to karaoke with bella kurri steph and leish after skl (: ahhaha so much funn and the person gave us like 30mins extra coz she was so nice and coz she knows steph or somethin :L OMG i discovered today that ALICIA CAN SING :O .. loool i think everyone already knew that.. but.. shuttup i didnt >> nwais we started randomly luvoing and like taking vids of us singing and stuff :L
and now im watching boys over flowers and.. omgg its such a ...torturous drama to watch. the girl gets bullied so much T_T and theyre all so cruel to her... like jst now they made her fall like fly off her bike and then they set her bike on fire and chucked waterbombs at her and sprayed her with a fire extinguisher.. like srsly... WTFF.. so cruel. i hate watching ppl being bullied >> like its more depressing than watching someone die in movies and stuff. like in karate kid wen the little black kid keeps getting beaten up by the azn whose like pro at karate or something.. yeaa everytime it happened i literally like hid my face behind my bro coz it was too painful to watch. T_T
nwaaisss back to drama now~
Thursday, September 23, 2010 || 12:56 AM
wow. congratulations. you succeeded. you caught me by complete surprise and it hurt. you hurt. wow.
i suppose now that i think about it i shouldve seen it all along... the signs were all there. and i think a part of me did know. i think a part of me started to realise, to see through your disguise. but i never really listened to that small voice. i was blinded by my trust in you. i suppose it never occurred to me that no matter how strongly you might have felt, that you of all people would be able to do something like that.
but you know what's worse? i actually kind of trusted you. no, i didnt tell you everything, but i told you some things. i trusted you enough to open up a little to you at a time when i closed myself off to most others. i guess i should have listened to that queasy feeling in my stomach.
and you know what's even worse than that? you fooled me into thinking you were trustworthy. you were my friend to my face, but i suppose the moment i turned my back, you completely tore me apart didnt you? you fooled me into thinking that a part of you was on my side, that you kind of understood how i felt and what i was saying. you know, you actually encouraged me to 'be myself'. you kind of gave me confidence to just be me. but now i realise that was all a lie. no doubt you just wanted more to bitch about. what were you hoping? that i'd do something that you could use against me?
i don't want to assume the worst in you. i don't want to think that you would actually do something like that no matter how strongly you felt. but i don't know anymore. and you know the weird thing? why are you even a part of this?
you hurt me worse than the others. sorry to have to resort to insults, but you really are a two-faced bitch. you lied to my face... and i believed you.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010 || 9:22 PM

today you might be somebody for someone, but tomorrow you might be nobody
PD exam was bullshit. like every question.. and all of my answers were like random bullshit..but meh its easy.. no drugs, no alcohol, no sex, no bullying. why? COZ ULL DIE. basically lol :L i had like hlf hr leftover so i decided to go bathroom coz i was bored and mr sinclair was like 'ok, come to the back' and fully made me walk down like that whole room to the back and sit on this random little isolated chair and likeeveryone was staring at me.. LOL probs thought i was caught like talking or cheating or somethin.. -____-
omg got dragged to burwood today.. FOR NOTHING.. -_____- i swear me and karina were standing right in front of our normal train to go home and the doors were open and we jst like stood there wondering if we should go home or not.. and then karina stupidly decides to go to burwood -____-
sighh so then we had to run for the other train coz it was like already there.. and then we ended up going to burwood for NOTHING because the person karina was gona meet wasnt there.. -___- loool oh well.. karina bought a massive easyway which i like stole coz she owes me for dragging me around all the time xD well karina blames JOANNNEE for making us go to burwood for no reason.. so JOANNE all ur fault (: loool and jo I WASNT LYING...... ^^
lol nwais got home at like 5 and realised i forgot my keys so i was like locked outside for an hr waiting for my mum to get home.. meh it was ok though coz i sat in garden and there was wifi (: hehe
ok nwais OMG IN 24HRS ALL OF MY EXAMS WILL BE OVER (: O.V.E.R. ommmggg i cant wait. jst need to survive another 24hrs.. so jealous of ppl who have no more exams T_T fml.. stupid history..
Sunday, September 19, 2010 || 6:15 PM

because you listen to me when i'm depressed
it doesn't seem to make you like me less
cause you wrote my name across your hand
when i freak you understand
there is not a thing you miss
i could get used to this
omgsh im having a like massive the veronicas sesh atm (: hhehehe i jst spent like and hr downloading all their old songs that i used to love. YEA im so cool.. :L
theres something special about sunday afternoons, something peaceful and happy (: maybe its coz i come home to an almost empty house and my bros arent around.. and my parents are usually being nice to each other on sunday arvos (: instead of like ripping each others head off -___- ..or maybe they do and i jst dnt hear coz of my earphones.. :/ oh wells wteva. and my mum always brings me food or a drink or somethin while im in my room 'studying'. and then my cat comes along and sits on me. the house is jst so peaceful and quiet on sunday afternoon that i can actually leave my door open and still not be distracted by ppl tlking noisily..
of course then my bros get home and start fighting and screaming and arguing then my parents scream at them to shuttup and thne.. yeaa >>
just gonna stand there and watch me strain
thats alright because i love the way it pains
just gonna stand there and hear me grunt
thats alright because i love the way you dump
i love the way you dump
[copyright amanda liem. she's the retard not me.]
Saturday, September 18, 2010 || 9:37 PM

nobody cares if you're sad. so fake a smile and pretend you're okay.
well i had a good day today (: it was some festival thing at chink today so it was like a massive bludge with lizzy and amanda and elisa (: haha it was so weird though coz like.. pretty much everyone over the age of 10 jigged the festival so then it was like us 4 sitting around while like 6yr olds were.. idno doing wteva they were doing.. OH except for like a group of ppl who were randomly playing bball nxt to us. so in total there was like.. 10 ppl over the age of 10 at chink today :L but coz we're so good we didnt jig ^^ ..also coz like all of lizzys family was in the city.. and we had no money .. lol
nwais had like a massive d&m sesh with amanda while they were like.. packing up the festival or somethin i dno :L good d&m (: i think we should jig chink more often and tlk lol. rawrrr nwais so funny coz we told the teacher we needed to go toilet so we were like sitting outside the bathrooms for like an hr and then amanda decides to be a retard and this girl went in and shes like 'OMG let's time how long this person takes' so then we sat there timing how long a random took in the bathroom....yea ...it was weird.. :/ .. LIKE AMANDA (: jksjks.. -cough-
oh and i actually studied today (: pretty amazing.. WOOOOOOO i feel strangely kinda happy atm (: .. emph. until i let myself think. -happiness dies- .. -___- some tumblr will cheer me up (:
so good at pretending everythings fine
so good at falling back into routine
so good at ignoring the voice at the back of my head...
but the moment we stop talking
all the demons will come back
all the questions, the uncertainties, the worries
i need answers,
even if it means it'll ruin this brief moment of normal.
Friday, September 17, 2010 || 9:02 PM

if you spent your life concentrating on what everyone else thought of you,
would you forget who you really were?
what if the face you showed the world turned out to be a mask...
with nothing beneath it?
today i remembered just how much i love simple plan (: some of their lyrics are just so.. so right. lol and totally fits my mood right now. especially this song Welcome To My Life
after rereading mice and men today ive realised.. the world is a depressing place -___- and also that ms coleman is a crap teacher and im gona hav to attempt to waffle my way through the essay (:
well maybe that's how i feel too now. thanks.
...
do you remember how we both thought it didn't make sense what they're doing? ...and now it looks like it's gonna happen to us. i still think it doesn't make sense.
Thursday, September 16, 2010 || 7:13 PM

LOOOOOL dam.. but i like phone sex ;]
OMGGSHHH IM SO HAPPYYY ^^
hehe u see like a mth ago or somethin i entered this writing comp coz i was bored and it was a short story one.. so less effort :L lol and and i came 4TH bahahha.. then they sent me an email and its like.. (: im not a failure. hehe even though ms coleman hates me and im failing english im not a failure at it. hehehehehhehe ..nwais that probs didnt make sense but.. nvm. omgsh im gona like keep this email so i can read it wen i fail my english exam hehe ^^
nwais.. non-productive day today even though i didnt hav skl T_T lol well i reread much ado about nothing.. zoned like hlfway through the book so i dnt think i read it properly nwais :L lol and then watched himym coz i was bored of studying and then watched some tv (: and now im here... sighh im gona fail my exams.. FML. alright i WILL study tonight.. well ill do something at least.. maybe ill read mice and men again.
LOOOOOOL at emily on tumblr some anon was bagging her out and shes like 'are you my mum?! if i didnt come out of your vagina then dont lecture me' BAHHAHAAHHA ahhh im sooo gona use that someday :L
Wednesday, September 15, 2010 || 12:15 AM

yoo i should probs be sleeping now BUT THIS SONG.. its soo sweeett like soo sweet its making me depressed T_T gay. wait heres the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjhCEhWiKXk the videos sweet too (: and the girl is really pretty
Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
Tuesday, September 14, 2010 || 7:39 PM

you know what they say
life aint always easy
and everyday were survivors...
we're gonna live like it's the end of the world
let's party like its 2012
wow i havnt blogged for a while O_O well ive been a good girl and studying ^^..sort of...
omg finished maths exam.. and i think i failed section 3 T_T fml. actually no i aced it and everyone else's answers are wrong (: heheh. sighh thats depressingg.. if i failed maths then that means im gona fail everything else. especially science. and ENGLISH OMG.
nwais MELB IS SO COOL 8] hehe its like syd except sooo prettyyy all the buildings are like that old victorian style or wteva and then there are trees EVERYWHEREE. like no jk... there isnt a single road in that city without trees lining the road.. so pretty (: hah
a they hav trees in like the middle of the road :L lol my friend told me about them before and i always thought he was retarded.. haha but when you actually see them.. THEY LOOK PRETTYY (: lol only bad things is that melb is heaps colder had to wear like 50 layers everyday... -___- and and theyre city is dead. like DEAD. i was wlking through it on friday night after dinner and like normally youd expect heaps of ppl on a friday night like i dno going to clubs or something.. but there was no one around. OH except a group of old people standing outside a building.. LOL they were like 60yr olds or something.. and i was like.. WTF O__O why are they up so late in the city on fri night.. O_O
omgsh thats.. flinders street station and it looks soooo coool ^^ its like.. a STATION and its so pretty 8]
went to stra after skl as usual and omgsh LOL angela is such a funny child.. :L see i always thought she was like fully innocent.. and like.. sort of good.. but WHOA O__O LOOOOL we dogged bella kurri and steph who were jumping around in the rain and went up to matrix early because angela felt like .... 'playing around' ;] hahha and and we were tlking bout her and brendan and stuffs and shes like [QUOTE]:
'we're young honey, why would you want something when you can have everything?'
.. :/ i wonder if this makes any sense? mm well i cbs to explain and i dnt wana ruin my rep :D haha then bella kurri and steph came up to matrix and we all jst like fully raided the buildings and randomly wlked into all the classrooms :L i think ppl thought we were retarded LOL.. then my eng teacher saw us and i was like.. O_O shit.. ermm.. i dno know them.. :/ -hides face- haha and steph got some random guy who was attempting to study to like take luvos for us.. LOL so funny coz it was on record and he like videoed us posing.. and our heads are like bobbing around.. so funny :L
nwais textiles exam tmrw.. :/ i should probs study for that but hehehe i dnt hav to go to skl til like after lunch which means SLEEPING IN WOOOOT xD ~
OH YEA in maths today coz weve done our maths exam so we were jst having a bludge lesson.. well nwais me, jo and joce were like fb stlking pretty ppl in our skl and OMGGG T_T so depressing but OMG sighh some ppl are so pretty. hahhaha jo went on like a full rant about 'natural beauty' and how some ppl are like naturally beautiful and they like 'glow' LOL it was funny.. well basically we decided that we should create an island where we'll send all the pretty ppl and like.. jst remove them from our society so ppl like us wont have to be depressed when we see them (: hehe i think thats a good idea dont you?
oh annnddd if you havnt seen laura frettingham's 'little black dress' then GO LOOK NOW. look at the pics of caitlin ford modelling the dress.. OMFGGG its like amazing.. 8] ..id link it except i think randoms read my blog so thats a bit dodgy.. :/ and its probs against some law or something :L
alright nwais.. STUDYING NOW. (:
Wednesday, September 8, 2010 || 8:16 PM

the city lights glow like billions of fireflies in the night~
hehe i got my haircut and dyed today (: mmm i actually quite like the colour lol its really dark so like from far away you cant really tell much of a difference.. but like if you go really close.. and under bright light.. SOO RED O_O i stared at it for like 5mins thinking.. 'wow. an azn ranga.' O___Oloool but meh i like it
hmm and now i need to pack my suitcase for melb.. i was jst told we're going to parties/dinners like everyday which means i need how many zillion different formal outfits.. omg i dnt even hav that many formal dresses T_T sighh oh wells time for some improvisations (: apparently its .. my bros wedding, then like my grandmas massive bday party.. then like massive family dinners
and etc. all in the space of 3 days O_O hehe im really excited now (: a
nndd i get to go to melb for the first time.. whcih is good considering i plan to live there :L
nwais on the way back home in the car i had like this massive amazing spaz thing. THE WORLD IS AMAZING. omgsh i wish life was longer..theres like so much stuff i want to do with my life.. but i dnt think ill ever have enough time/money to do it.. :/
well i want to live in melb, but i wana spend 6mths in new york, 6mths in london. i wana go to paris.. maybe honeymoon there 8] hehe. and someday in my life i will go to a masked ball at night with whoever i love and and the city lights at night.. will be so pretty.. and.. ahhh 8]. well i hav to go to a masked ball at least once.
okies and i also decided there are so many things i wana learn.. like ill go to uni and study wteva course im gona do for my career.. possibly law or something.. but i also wana learn fashion/designing or wteva and and i wana learn photography.. and history (: but i think that will be expensive.. which means ill probs end up having to go bak to uni wen im like already hav a career and hav enough money.. which means ill be OOLLDDD.. fml T_T
wat else? umm OMG im gona hav an amazing house. ok hav u ever been to hyde park at night? wait heres a pic..
yep well im gona hav a driveway with trees on either side and lights (: i also want like an awesome stereo wall like the one in step up 3. and like heaps of other stuff but i cbf to explain :L nwais my house is gona be amazing too.
OMG I ALSO WANA LEARN TO DANCE.. like hip-hop or street dancing or something (: i think i shuld start that soon though.. cant learn it wen im like 40.. :/ maybe nxt yr ill consider :L
ahh this world is amazing. i just want to do EVERYTHING x] everything. i wana learn everything.. and hav everything and experience everything. fml why is life so short? sighh. im pretty sure ill like never achieve my dream.. but.. I WILL ACHIEVE SOME. i must. (:
lool im in a weird mood tonight.. maybe its coz im going to melb tmrw.. ahh so excited. itll be a good break from the stress of exams and skl and work and etc. unfortunately i dnt think this weird happy amazed mood is gona last long.. :L so ill enjoy it while i can (:
NIGHT EVERYBODY. SMILE AND BE HAPPY COZ THE WORLD IS AMAZING AND THERES SO MUCH OPPORTUNITY FOR AMAZING THINGS~
Monday, September 6, 2010 || 12:34 AM
i still find each day too short for all the thoughts i want to think, all the walks i want to take, all the books i want to read and all the friends i want to see.
fathers day today (: well.. yesterday nwais cooked pancakes for my dad and it wasnt a complete fail (: ... sort of .. lol

just finished pd notes finally. not that theyre very good.. why? because my notes are filled with those 3 letters up there ^ ... etc. oh well i still feel accomplished.. ahh lol but my night wasnt very productive still. took me like however many hrs to write them.. and if i hadnt been distracted by fb, tumblr, skype, phone.. i probs wuldve finished it in like an hr or 2. arghh fml.
LOL yeaa.. skyping with lizzy.. see how cool we are (:
omfg exams in one wk.. kill me now. i havnt started memorising anything yet :/ sighh oh well. im jst gona hav to hope cramming still works
ok now im gona go d/l the human centipede trailer so i can force a friend to watch it tmrw hehehe >:]
ermm not much to say.. ohhh im going to melb this wkend (: hehe i get to miss a day of skl for my stepbros wedding. im hoping melb is pretty.. coz i plan to live there wen im older but ive never been there before.. lool
nightt~
Thursday, September 2, 2010 || 12:41 AM

we're smiling but we're close to tears...
we just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time
concert was soo much fun..but im so tired now. haha spent like the whole night running around town hall building thing with karina and ellie and bella and other people who joined us. soo funny coz we found these stairs which led up to this like balcony thing and the door to the balcony can only be opened from the inside and we accidentally closed the door.. so then we were all freaking out coz we thought we were locked out on this tiny balcony in some random part of the building..and me and karina were like almost meant to play.. :L haha but it was ok coz then we found some other door on the other end of the balcony and we managed to get back inside (:
and and next to the stage we found this like tiny box room thing with like a long window right next to the people on the stage. and the window was like soundproof and tinted so there was like 7 of us all crammed into this tiny box room staring at the people on the stage and like mucking around. so funn coz no one could see or hear us :L
and the city is pretty at night. (: me karina and ellie were like on this other balcony place that we found and just like sat there and stuff.
nwais im like soo tired right now and ive just finished my textiles assignment (: hehe such a relief.
what does it matter though? because no matter how happy i should be, how much fun i should be having, you always come haunt my mind and i know that i'm not genuinely happy.
blue skies but the sun isnt coming out, no
today its like im under a heavy cloud...
throw my hands up and let it go
forget everything and runaway, yea