Monday, March 28, 2011 || 6:28 PM
faarrrkkkk i want that I WILL HAVE ONE OF THESE IN MY HOUSE WHEN I AM OLDER.
BREAKING NEWS.
the fine print: -these 2 words would be flashing if i was pro enough to know how to make that happen-
something amazing is happening right now... okay let me start from the beginning
-approx. 20mins ago-
mum comes home with really really yummy yoghurt for me hehehe so i sit in the garden nomnomnoming my yoghurt while my cat climbs on me. omnomnom
-approx. 10mins ago-
too full to finish all the yoghurt so i put it in the fridge and i shall continue nomnoming it after dinner (:
-approx. 8mins ago-
drag myself to my room, look for my handbook and slowly open it up dreading the massive list of homework that i'll see there...
-approx. 6mins ago-
after staring at my handbook in shock for 2mins it finally sunk in that... MY HANDBOOK IS PRACTICALLY BLANK. FOR THE WHOLE WEEK. ZOOMMGGG DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS?? I HAVE VIRTUALLY NO HOMEWORK. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
-approx. 5mins ago-
after dancing around in celebration for 1min i end up on my laptop anyway :L
-approx. 2mins ago-
realised that i do have a bit of homework.. but meh i have ALMOST NONE. THIS IS AMAZING GUYSS
hahhaa okay so im really bored.. trying to fill in my exchange forms but i dno what to write. there are like a few questions where they expect me to full write a paragraph and shit.. pfftt... ill do that later :L
things i need to do:
- buy lip balm instead of stealing other ppls pawpaw (:
- stop drinking coffee (loljks i love it too much)
- stop sleeping so late
- buy a bag because my CR bag kills my shoulder
- buy a laptop stand thing cause my chiro says i should get one
- buy new winter clothes XD (cant wait til holidays hehe)
- have the 'can i learn to drive when im 16?' convo with my mum. although im pretty sure itll go down something like this:
me: hey mum, so im turning 16 in like 2months and when im 16 i'm allowed to learn to drive... -hopeful look-
mum: -ignores my hopeful look- huh
me: sooo... can i learn to drive?
mum: no.
me: what why not??
mum: because you dont have time
me: but like practically everyone is learning to drive when theyre 16
mum: like who? -glare-
me: -random bullshit list of names of people i know my mum likes...- mum: :O really? her parents are letting her learn to drive? me: psshh chyyeaah i told you, everyone is :D
mum: dont care. no
me: WHYYYYY BITCH WHHHHYYY
mum: BECAUSE I SAY SO. NO DINNER FOR YOU. GO STUDY.
-several hours later-
me: DAAADDDD I WANT TO DRIVE.
dad: okay (:
hehehe.. well it would go like that minus the last 2 lines.. sighh
things to do in the holidays:
- clean the house by chucking out all the useless junk my mums too noob to throw out
- cook breakfast for me
and my family HAAAHHH... sorry family i like being selfish :D - buy a wall shelf and badger my stepdad to put it up on my wall
- finish making my collage thing of pictures and quotes on my other wall thingo
- buy a full length mirror to put on my wall
- read a book
- watch all the movies on my laptop
- print out all the photos ive been meaning to print out for ages :L
- SLLEEEPPP
- watch some disney.. i miss watching disney ):
- stay with my dad so that i can go out whenever i feel like it hehehe
- make something
- you ;D HAHAHEEHEHOHIHIHAHEHAHAHEIHEO
- annnnd your mum (: cause shes one sexy milf. ;D
alright i think ill go and do something now :L or maybe ill eat some more yoghurt hehee
have fun with your homework succkerrs, ciao for now
Sunday, March 27, 2011 || 12:16 AM
i miss you.
i don't know what happened, but one moment we were as close as ever and then the next we just didn't talk anymore. i miss how you used to make me laugh so hard, how our conversations were actually the funniest things of my life. i miss those dnms we had, how you listened to me and supported me during my lowpoint. i miss that dnm we had when we realised we both desperately wanted the same thing and all of a sudden i felt less alone, someone understood me. someone felt the same way. that night i remember there was a sense of optimism as we would dream up all the possibilities of the future, plan out all the things we would do even though we both knew none of it was going to happen. but for a night, we dreamt. i miss that convo we had when we talked solely in song lyrics.
i don't know what happened to that. i think it may be my fault.. i'm just not sure how or what to do about it.
...
i'd rather people not read this.. even though most of you probably will anyway. the only reason im blogging this is because i cant find my notebook to write it. actually this whole post is personal.. so go away.
we have an expiry date don't we? well ofc we do, but i suppose it never seemed so real until now. what's happening to me? it's like i've lost myself. i can't remember what my values are anymore, what i want from life, who i want to be. it's like im stuck in this whirlpool of ideas and morals and they're all spinning round and round in my head and i don't know what's what anymore. where's up and where's down? which way is left and which way is right? and all around me, while im trying to make sense of all these spiralling ideas, everyone's saying something different. who do i listen to? who do i trust? ideally i should listen to myself, be myself not what someone tells me to be. but i feel like a blank page, an empty book. completely open to everything because i've yet to decide what i think or feel about anything. and when i haven't made an opinion on anything yet, how the hell am i supposed to be myself?
but deep down i do have an idea don't i? i have an image, a picture of myself in the future. but what's the context of that person? what's her past like? what wise things does she know? what are her values? who is she? or more importantly, who am i?
Friday, March 25, 2011 || 9:56 PM
"shoot for the moon and if you miss you'll still be among the stars. promise me you will find a job you love this time!
P.S. i love you..."
- P.S. i love you (book)
whats more important in life?
going for something you really really want with a passion, but you know that if you go for it the chances of you failing are higher
or going for something you sort of want and would still be happy with, just because you know the chances of getting it are much higher?
see if you go for the first and get it then thats like amazing. but if you fail and get nothing youll end up with all this regret, thinking you shouldve gone for the other. but if you get the easier one, you'll only regret not going for what you really really wanted because what if you got it? what if? but you'll never know because you didnt try.
so should you aim for your highest dreams knowing theres a chance you'll fail and end up with nothing, or aim lower knowing you'll at least have something even if its not quite enough.
or maybe humans are just selfish and greedy and enough is never enough.
well anyways. i had a pretty good day (:
- we had cross country today which was 3 laps of the massive place.. i think thats probs like 2-2.5km? i dno. BUT I ACTUALLY JOGGED MOST OF IT hehe im pretty proud of myself. i still feel fat though.. perhaps i should jog more :L
- had an in-class essay task in elective hist but it was okay coz we had a sub so we all brought in really detailed plans to class so it was easy :L hahaha some people had like pre-written their essay and just copied it or like me had like 2 paragraphs written and lots of dot points XD
- i love elective history (: we were all having such a good discussion about.. stuff i cant remember anymore haha but it was good
- ummm lost our debate so i guess that wasnt good :L
- got some good news
- and other things :L
well anyways i should probs do some of my SRP or something... arghhh hw T_T
Thursday, March 24, 2011 || 8:11 PM
and that is why starbucks exists
TO MY BELOVED JESUS ;D
cant believe the things i do for you.. HAHHAHA
- OMG SO TODAY MY MATHS TEACHER BROUGHT IN A MASSIVE PLATE OF BREADS AND PASTRIES AND STUFF HEHHEHHEHE i walked in the classroom and saw the plate and my eyes like zoomed in and i was like FUCK, FREE FOOOOOOD -dives straight to dah free food- x]
so karina would like me to write that i am a fag.. i would but you see i dont want to lie. now someone interesting you might all wanna know about KARINA.. WEEEELLLL. she told me today on skype that she would like me to create a poo log of everytime she takes a shit.. HAHHAHHAHHAA
[8:05:13 PM] - ╬ kuriix3: ok im back
[8:05:14 PM] - ╬ kuriix3: (:
[8:05:17 PM] - ╬ kuriix3: MWHEHEHE
[8:05:18 PM] - ╬ kuriix3: LOL
[8:05:25 PM] - ╬ kuriix3: MY BLADDER IS SEXY.
[8:05:27 PM] - ╬ kuriix3: SO KEEP UP.
[8:05:44 PM] chriistineeli: O_O LOOOOL
[8:05:47 PM] chriistineeli: yesh. okay.
[8:05:51 PM] chriistineeli: ill just like keep a log
[8:05:54 PM] chriistineeli: of everytime you take a shit
[8:05:56 PM] chriistineeli: HAHHAAHAHA
[8:06:01 PM] chriistineeli: coz thats wat you want...
[8:06:01 PM] - ╬ kuriix3: HAHAHAH YES.
[8:06:02 PM] - ╬ kuriix3: (:
- in english we've been watching this film called 'shakespeare in love' and its like an appropriation of romeo and juliet. ZOMG ITS SOOOO GOOD LIKE OMG. hahahhaha it has gwenyth paltrow in it.. or however you spell her name and the dude cant remmeber who it is, is like really hot with her. theyre just a shexy shexy couple XD hahhaha and it has some YUMMAAYY sex scenes ;D .....joookkess... but still i was liike surprised that the teachers didnt think it was inappropriate for us to watch :L
- oh i discovered this AHMAYYYZINNGG radio stn today its the edge 96.1 and it plays rnb and stuff which is like sooo good because then i wont have to spend hours googling for rnb songs i can just listen to this stn XD hahahha soo good
uhmmmm ceebs writing anymore..
GOOD LUCK WITH TILDESLEY TENNIS TMRW JESUS :P
xoxo gossip girl LOOL JOKESS, IM COOLER THAN GOSSIP GIRL
Sunday, March 20, 2011 || 11:57 PM
actually nahh i dont think ill post up anymore photos :L
hmm i was planning to blog a few hours ago but now ive forgotten everything i was gonna say and im not really bothered anymore.
random things about this week that i can still remember:
- OMG. MY LOVE FOR STARBUCKS HAS GROWN (if that were even possible). so up until this week i'd only ever tried their coffee frappucino which is AH-MAY-ZINGGG but then i was cold so i got an actual cappucino and ZOMG. best coffee ive ever had. like it was just right (: not too sweet, not too bitter and not too milky but not too strong. lovelovelove
- OH YEA my friends 16th was on friday which was funn (: me and another girl went over to a friends house after school and we all got ready together. OMG HER HOUSE IS AKDFHKJFNSKDJFNDSKF. okay so her room is massive and she has like this flatscreen tv opposite her bed and like awesome speakers throughout her massive room, and this other separate part of her room is a study which overlooks her balcony and she has this awesome walk in wardrobe with a massive mirror on one side, a wall of shoes, and like a wall of her clothes and stuff.. ANDDD (no im not done yet) she also has this huge ensuite with a massive square bath and a massive shower and a wall of cosmetics and etc. okay seriously, i went in her house and was like FUCK I WANT THIS. oh and her house smelt nice too (: dont you love that? when you walk into a house and it just smells really nice? like vanilla and yummyyy
- oh i think im grounded. T_T coz i got back from the party on friday and it was like i dno.. 11.30? so not that late but then i went on facebook coz my friend had already uploaded some of the pics so i had to quickly untag myself in the ugly ones T_T then my mum walks in my room and starts going off at me. well actually she was calm at first but she just kept rambling and rambling and i was annoyed coz this was like 1am and i was so tired and she was implying that i never study so then i started arguing back and then she started shouting at me and yea... i think im partially grounded? fml. i hate parents sometimes..
- had my first 3unit maths task on friday T_T soo scary because i did one of the past papers the night before and i got 19.5/40 and that was with me being extremely generous with the marking and giving myself random marks here and there AND going over time so i was like fuuuucckkk.. then had to hardcore cram til like 1am but i had a massive coffee before maths so that i wouldnt just fall asleep and give up (:
- OMG I GOT INTO 2ND ROUND FOR EXCHANGE
- wait i dnt think im supposed to tell ppl.. :/ oh well no one reads this anyways so mehh
- tennis was rained out on saturday.. kind of good because i was so tired from the night before, i love sleeping in in the rain. but bad because if it wasnt rained out we probs wouldve won and we wouldve made it to semis and then possibly win the comp and gotten our annual tennis pocket sighhh
- my dad was really nice this morning (: so i woke up and and my dad came home and he had bought me a coffeee x] i love waking up to find a hot coffee just for me (: hahah actually thats never happened but still
okay cbf writing anymore goodnight everyone (:
Saturday, March 12, 2011 || 7:07 PM
lauren and dabaja pimping it up at salsa :L
i had quite an .. interesting day today lool. woke up at 5am because we had a tennis game at frensham at 7.45 T_T srsly when i woke up the sky was still PITCH BLACK. IT WAS STILL NIGHT TIME WTF IS THAT? it was alright though because i had a good sleep in the one hr drive down to frensham.. or up to frensham? i dno where it is :L and we won so i didnt wake up for nothing hahaha then had another good sleep on the way back (:
then went to the city with joanne and yeaa.. anyways. you know what pisses me off? well, basically anyone who upsets my friends ahaha. but still some people are actually just dicks.
but anyways didnt end up going to chinese school :L ummm had a good afternoon annndd bought some stuff to make a mask for my friends 16th on friday hehehee. have i told you already? well my friends having a masquerade themed party for her 16th so basically we get to get all dressed up and we have to wear a mask and im like really excited now hahaha (: especially after dying this week T_T
OMG WANNA KNOW HOW MUCH I DIED THIS WEEK (actually i somehow survived):
- english writing portfolio of the whole terms work + an essay
- science genetics assignment
- SRP (i handed it in a day late though and ms hendriks was full like 'IM GONNA CALL YOUR MUM' .. T_T)
- textiles assignment and portfolio (managed to beg for a 1 day extension though hehe)
- elective history test
- english assessment task .. i think i failed because the poem we were given was a pretty shit poem if you ask me.. pfft :L
so yes thats.. 6 THINGS. SIX. THATS MORE THINGOS THAN THERE ARE SCHOOL DAYS IN A WEEK. T_T and now im heaps behind in maths and sleep and gg and pretty little liars and everything T_T fml. i cant wait til holidays.
oh yea i tried a chatime for the first time today after jo kept convincing me ahhaha. had the no.1 which was some.. roasted grass jelly milk tea thing? i dno it was actually quite yum even though it looked unappetising and it had grass jelly in it hahhaa :L it kind of had like a.. coffee taste to it. like it was milky and slightly bitter but also kind of.. nutty? like almond or hazelnut or something. i dno LOL i cant describe tastes but it was pretty good considering i hate grass jelly hahhaha
sorry for being so emotionally unstable..all the time. never realised i was quite so retarded. and thank you for putting up with my weird mood swings, i don't even understand what's wrong with me sometimes. it's just... it all kind of scares me a lot and i guess i just need to know that i'm not being played. i am happy though. very very happy, but at the same time, sometimes i'm almost as happy as i am sad. mostly because im scared, but that will go away. so thank you again ♥
i didnt actually write that, but still..
because you listen to me when i'm depressed
it doesn't seem to make you like me less
i could get used to this.
Thursday, March 10, 2011 || 6:34 PM
how do you know if something's fake when everyone thinks it's real? sometimes i need something tangible to hold in my hand and see with my eyes just to prove that it's real, that i haven't made it all up. because without the physical proof everything else is just a memory. how does one know if one's memory is trustworthy? how do i know that every word wasn't just imagined? i know that an object doesn't really have much value when compared to the abstract, that money can't buy happiness, but sometimes it's comforting to be able to physically see and touch something tangible. just to prove that something so ethereal is actually real.
exchange interviews today. i think i failed T_T LOL oh well not that many people put hk as their first preference or whatever, so maybe that makes it easier? meehh i dno i wont think about it too much hahaha
anyways i skipped band today and went shoe shopping after school because it makes me happy
(: and coz i needed to get heels anyways :L
hehe there they are (: nothing amazing really but then amazing shoes are like friggin 2oo$ -___-
anyways i managed to beg for an extension on my textiles assignment to 8.30am tmrw lool so i should probs finish that now
Monday, March 7, 2011 || 7:44 PM
what me and dabaja get up to when english gets boring (:
you know what i hate about before school maths lessons? i mean apart from the fact that i have to sacrifice my sleep for maths -___- is that it always makes the day feel soooooo slow. i looked at the clock at 10am and realised that it was only halfway through p2 and we hadnt even had recess yet.. felt like it was meant to be lunchtime T_T so depressing. speaking of depressing.. why are so many people depressed these days/today ?? lol that + lack of sleep + massive pile of homework made me depressed.. but then im pretty happy again so yea (:
sooo SRP is due tomorrow and i only just started my experiment which is basically to use cellophane to see if like different coloured lights attract bugs and stuff. which basically means i need to sit in my garden staring at a light for about 4hours (i might cut it down to 2 though) counting bugs while being eaten alive by mosquitoes -____- now that i think about it it was a really stupid experiment idea.. but it was all i could think of that was 'original'. lol i think im just gonna skip science tmrw .. go to the nurse or something coz i wont finish it tonight mostly coz i dont even have all my coloured cellophane -___- NOWHERE SELLS CELLOPHANE LIKE WTF. not even lincraft and spotlight..
anyways apart from assignments and assessment tasks i dont have that much hw.. which is good? sort of.. well once this week is over im gonna have a massive gg and pretty little liars and slacking off sesh (: hehe.
ZOMG WTF.. in the past 10mins i have killed 5 ants which have been crawling on my desk.. wtf are they coming from.. WHY ARE THEY HERE.. if i find some dead animal under my bed i will shoot someone -___-
okay no idea if you read this or not but if you do.. i realised that i suck at actually saying how i feel.. lol i can write it easily but saying it... well i wanted you to know that i feel the same and i wouldve told you, but to be honest i was kind of stunned. and then i didnt have time to muster the courage to say it back, sorry. im just scared you'll be cut cause you think i dont feel the same or something, but i do i just.. i'll say it when i'm ready. that is all (:
Sunday, March 6, 2011 || 8:17 PM
where once i saw flaws
i now see only beauty in those imperfections.
when once i may have worried over the words they say
that now seems such a trivial matter.
how i once was indifferent
yet now suffer so, i am yet to understand.
what once was merely a flame
a fire now burns in its place.
band camp today.. i had to wake up at 7.30am on a sunday. how depressing im not meant to be awake until like 11 on sundays T_T which just means that this wk im gonna be twice as dead lool. and now i should do my maths homework.. ceebs posting :L
ARGH. stop frying my brain i need it. please?
Saturday, March 5, 2011 || 10:54 PM
nature's first green is gold,
her hardest hue to hold.
her early leaf's a flower;
but only so an hour.
then leaf subsides to leaf.
so eden sank to grief,
so dawn goes down to day.
nothing gold can stay.
i actually only wanted to blog that poem but i suppose now i should write a proper post :L but how pretty is that poem? pretty in a kind of sad way but still. basically happiness is so rare and fleeting that every moment of happiness should be remembered and treasured forever.
happiness seems to be the topic to talk about tonight.. i swear every convo i've had has somehow related to being happy or not. sighh such a depressing topic. i found some quote somewhere that was 'happiness isn't the destination, but the journey'. and im gonna shuttup about it now or ill make myself depressed :L
everybody needs a hug tonight (:
what me and dabaja get up to when english gets boring (:
