okay sorry but im about to spam you all with royal wedding stuff. because ASDFGHJKL IT WAS AMAZING (: argh makes me want to be british so i can stand in that crowd and be like YEAAA BITCHES. THOSE ARE MY ROYALS.

THAT LITTLE BLONDE BOY. and how cute are the children (:

i really like this photo (:

oh and everyone you have to look at this link

okay so thats my really uninteresting story hahaha

umm though i might have my depressive moments and mental breakdowns and randomly start crying for no reason other than that life sucks and theres this huge weight in my chest... ive never actually considered ending my life because.. well why would i want to do that? theres so much to look forward to, so much to hope for. im only 15 for gods sake, theres so much i havent done. i havent even lived yet, so why would i want to die?

hahaha but u know those times when you were like 4yrs old and youve just gotten in trouble for not finishing youre dinner and youre like "WAAAHH THE WORLD HATES ME. NOBODY LOVES ME. IM A LONER AND IM GONNA DIE A SAD LONELY WRINKLY UGLY SMELLY OLD GRANDMA. LOL JKS I WONT EVEN BE A GRANDMA CAUSE NO ONE WOULDVE WANTED TO MARRY ME AND HAVE BABIES WITH ME" bahhahahha yea those times. and then you think of all the butcher's knives in the kitchen and youre like nobody loves me i should just die. and you consider dying just to see everyone cry over you and so that everyone will feel regret for every mean thing theyve ever done or said to you. haha but then you never do it cause

haha okay i should maybe start some work now.. BAHBYEEE (:

uhmm right day 4: your views on religion

lol well im not religious.. at all. i dont have anything against religion though its just not for me. haha i guess its a good thing that people can find something they believe in and it brings them happiness or something.. i dont know. are religious people happy?? :/ its hard though.. like i dont believe in a god, heaven or hell or anything despite going to a religious school my entire life. and to me it makes sense that when you die you just die. your heart stops and your brain stops so you cant think, feel, move etc etc and you start to rot and decompose just like every other living thing. and a 'spirit' or 'soul' is nonexistent so yea. when you die your dead. gone. tadaaa. haha but then there are those people who can supposedly speak to the 'other side' and like ive heard some of that stuff and its always so believable how they know all these things about a persons life and the people in their life and the dead people in their life.. it makes me wonder.. how do they do that? is there an 'other side'? i'd kinda like to think so. i dont really want to just disappear off the face of the earth.

after doing studies of religion for a term and learning the origins of judaism, which is like basically the origins of christianity, cathalocism and like 50 other religions... im sorry but its made me even less religious. like its basically saying some old shepherd dude went out one day and suddenly god spoke to him and TADAAA a religion is born. okay seriously... WTF? the dude was probably delusional from heat and exhaustion and he lost his sheep so he was bored of life and sat down and decided to imagine up a religion while in his delusional state. and then because of that shepherd man people all over the world for centuries have gone to war over these religions, hated people and countries because of religion. like millions and billions of people have died for religion.. i dno seems so pointless to me. maybe im going to hell for not believing.. but hey if a god wanted people to believe in a religion, then that god should make it a little more believable... like i dno APPEARING. hahahahha imagine what the world would be like then.. with god randomly appearing everywhere.. LOOOL okay sorry if ive offended anyone. i honestly dont have anything against religion or religious people. its just not for me :L

..............................

haha this is like 12hrs later.. IVE FINISHED EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO DO XD well i didnt do all of maths but i did some.. and i just wrote my shitty english speech and i practised some clarinet XD amazing. i should probably sleep early seeing as i have to try and wake at like.. 6.30? and the earliest ive gotten up all hols is 10 or something hahahhaha

WELL ANYWAYS. umm i have lots i could ramble about coz im in that retarded rambling kind of mood but ill spare you that and jst continue with this 30 day challenge (:

sighh im not in the mood for serious discussions. umm NOT IN SYDNEY. THATS WHERE I WANT TO BE. okay so i dont really care where i end up living just as long as its not sydney (:

wait ten years.. ill be 25 almost 26. well im assuming by then ill have finished uni sooo HOPEFULLY ill know what i want to do with my life by then and will have started doing it. hmm maybe starting to become serious with life.you see i have this theory that basically your life ends at 25. coz once you reach 25 you have to start being serious like get a career and get into a serious serious relationship with some guy that you'd happily spend the rest of your life with and can like pay your bills hahahhaha all that crap.

hmmm id love to have travelled by then. if not travelled around the world then at least to like america and england and stuff. because i want to live in like england and america for a year or something im not sure where i plan on fitting that into my life but .. i will (: before i get married ofc. preferably alone :/ i was thinking working overseas for a bit? i considered studying overseas but that means working hard now to get into a pro uni overseas and plus its extremely expensive and yea.. scary. so nahh maybe therell be some program at uni where i can go overseas for a bit or something. my stepmum said that some unis have those kinds of things.

okay 25 i want to have started my career (a GOOD one) umm so yea ill have a job. i dno if id have my own place yet :/ how do these things work? do most 25 yrs olds rent their own place? or rent with a housemate person? well i dno either. but ill have enough money to buy nice clothes and stuff hehehe. i want to do a job where i can go to lots of dinner parties and conferences and meetings and things where i need to get dressed up. and if those dinner parties and conferences are OVERSEAS then i think i will just die of happiness (: but yup. umm i want to have like a bunch of close friends that i can hang out with on weekends or whenever im free or however this stuff works. do ppl have lots of free time at that age? i dont know. everything i know about adult life is like from movies.. haaahh. great im setting myself up for extreme disappointment already arent i?

okay so back to where i want to live. not sydney is a definite. but i want to live in like a big city and if i dont leave australia the next biggest city would be melbourne. which yea ive considered that alot because i like melbourne (: its really pretty and well very victorian actually but it looks nice (: and i know some people form melbourne and theyre pretty awesome hahhaa so im jst gonna assume melb people are cool. ohh and MELBOURNE IS OVERRUN WITH ASIANS. actually i dno if thats good or not hmm :/

but sometimes i think melbournes a bit too close to home :/ so then ..overseas? NY -shining eyes- perhaps i shouldnt set my goals too high haah... well whether or not i live overseas permanently i wanna go there alot and live there for a while at some point.

AND AND im going to travel the world. probably not by 25 coz ill be povo and stuff but like i wanna travel the world in one trip. my dads friend did it and apparently theres some deal you can get where you can choose 10 -20 destinations or something like that and itll cost i think it was .. 10 000? or under? so yup i will do that. i dno if ill wanna do that alone coz thats kinda lonely :/ but i dont want to do it with children and a family. so maybe when im married (: and before i have kids thats what ill do.

ahhhhh im loving this future life HHAHAHHA

oh and by 25 ill have lived for like 5 or so years a life of partying and not really being serious about my future (: because its uni.. so why not? not like im gonna have any other time in my life where i can be stupid hahaha. and then yea at 25 ill settle down (:

OKAY THATS MY LIFE. hopefully. i'll need to be rich :/ somehow i dont think its all gonna come true.. but hey, a girl can dream right?

okay. day 1: your current relationship. if single discuss how single life is

hahha umm what exactly am i meant to say about this? i dont wanna discuss my relationship here.. i dno who reads this blog D: bahahha.

i think in a way being in a relationship isnt as drastic of a change as some people think. its not like one day your life was horrible and then suddenly its amazing and full of hope and light and etc. if youre not happy single, chances are you wont be happy taken either so dont be in a rush to get into a relationship just wait til you meet someone you can actually connect with.

but then again i have to say it is a wonderful feeling (: hahaha some people might say we're too young but.. he makes me laugh, he makes me forget, he listens and actually cares, he makes me feel like im something more than ordinary, he keeps me on track, he makes me feel loved, hes amazing, hes basically my best friend and he makes me happy. so why not?

its not all sunshine and smiles though. we fight and have our moments and something happened once, which really messed things up. but to be honest i think that only makes it more perfect. because if it werent for those moments when we're arguing, or even that past incident, i dont think id realise just how much he means to me. and i think thats important. those moments kind of prevent us from taking everything for granted.

and we talk practically 24/7 hahahha he even asked last night if maybe we talk too much. hmm maybe we do but i cant help it :/ i want to talk whether its a convo about flying donkeys (and yes these are the kinds of deep conversations we have haha), or school work, or whatevers pissing us off atm, or a fight, or anything else.

what else do you want to know about my relationship? :/ u know whats funny i dont think weve even known each other for a year yet. i find that so weird. it feels like ive known you for years

so yea, thats basically it. ♥

lol i jst finished dying my hair (did it myself not like at a hairdresser) and and it was SUPPOSED to turn out a 'deep reddish darkest brown' but instead my hair is BLACK again.. black with like purplish red tints but bLACK. T_T so annoying. if i wanted black hair i never wouldve dyed it in the first place -_____- GAYNESS. oh well i suppose ill get medium brown red or wteva nxt time :L

anyways last night i went on this like overnight boat trip with my family and it was actually pretty fun. ahhaha except it was pouring rain yesterday and jst wlking to the boat my eskimo jacket got like soaked but then the rain cleared up and it was okay. we went sailing around the harbour and i got to steer for a bit XD its actually really really easy to steer a sailing boat. like easier than it is to drive a car in those racing video games.. haha and then the dude anchored us somewhere in north sydney and he left and my dad wanted to fish. sooo funny we were fishing but my dad kept catching small fish which apparently are like under the legal limit to keep so we had to throw them back but my dad was like "I WAAAANNTT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT" when gayle was taking it off the hook and throwing it back. he sounded like a little boy soo funny. the next one he caught he tried to convince us it was bigger and then he tried to kill it by stabbing its head and he thought it was dead but it was just stunned and it flopped off the boat and back to the water.. :L so yea.. we didnt eat fish for dinner we had chicken instead XD hahhaa

gayle caught a big fish though a flathead which we had for lunch :/ kinda disturbing coz i saw her kill it and gut it and scale it.. and then i ate it :/ tried to ignore the fact that i had seen it alive and flopping a few hours ago :/ LOL

umm wat else has happened this week that i should share .. i dno cant really think of anything. oh if anyone reading this also has studies of religion to do JUST SO YOU KNOW the 2 readings which we're meant to read through are mostly useless. theres like 2? or 3 chapters in them which you actually need to read and the rest of it is random background shit about judaism which no one really cares about XD yea. so of the 65pg booklet you only need to read like 5 pages of it :L the bit on hellenism and maccabee

oh also i tried a macaroon for the first time the other day hahaha ive been wanting one ever since i saw them on masterchef and its pretty good. reaaally sweet and not very biscuity.. its more like a crunchy cake with chocolaty/sweet filling inside mmmm quite yummeehh though XD

hmmm up close and under the light my hair is a pretty cool colour XD but still.. so black. so gay. hahaha anyways bye guys~

IM SORRY FOR THE PREVIOUS BLOG POST WHERE I SAID I WANT A BABY. I DONT WANT A BABY BECAUSE I ALREADY HAVE A BABY. YOU ARE MY BABY ;D AND THAT BABY IN THE PHOTO ISNT AS ADORABLE AS YOU. BECAUSE YOU ARE MY SEXY BABY ;D

WHY YOU SO SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE FOR? HAHHAHAHAHHA

LOVE YOU BABY,

GOD.

OOOOOOO wanna know something exciting? well at the end of the year coz im going on exchange and ill probs get back home like.. i dno beginning of dec ish anyways and then my mum is going to china on the 1st dec and coming back jst before school so sometime in jan.. which means that for the whole xmas holidays my mum will be overseas 8D epic. i love life XD

ummm i had all this stuff i was gonna blog about but now im cbf :Lmaybe later when i inevitably get bored in the holidays haha